For the first half of the year I spent endless hours, days, weeks in the hospital with Miss E. Just sitting. Much of the time she was in isolation and unable to even leave her room. Which meant I wasn't going anywhere either. Just sitting... unable to take care of Miss N... unable to take care of my home... my husband... etc... Just sitting. Knitting kept me company. Knitting kept me busy. Knitting kept me from jumping out the window from sheer boredom and uselessness. I found a mission.
There were amazing people who stepped into our lives this year. The kind of people who come over to your house at 3am so that both Hub and I could take Miss E in to the ER when she was in severe pain and we were scared sick. The kind of people who come over and clean your house for you after wood floors have been refinished. That's a particularly nasty kind of messy there. The kind of people who care for your child as if she were there own. The kind of people who let you live in their home for three months while your house is being renovated to make it safe for your sick child. The kind of people who bring you Christmas dinner in the hospital and spend time with you in the place no one wants to be on a holiday. The kind of people who organize teams of people to bring you food and care for your healthy child. People who step into your everyday hospital life because it's their job... and then become your very dear friend. People who come and babysit and send you off on dates with your husband. Amazing people. Absolutely amazing.
I felt so helpless. I FEEL so helpless still. There is so much I can't do. We continue to need other people everyday. There is absolutely nothing I could possibly do to thank these people who have come into our lives in such an amazing way. Nothing could equal what they have done for us and are continuing to do for us as we walk through this nightmare called childhood cancer. But what I could do... was knit. I knit love and thankfulness and prayers for blessing into every stitch I made. I hope that these very small tokens of my love and effort touched them in even just a small way. Because they have all touched our lives in a very big way. I couldn't possibly make something for every person who has helped us along the way. I don't even know every person who has! These gifts were for the people who have been involved with us every day. They haven't fizzled out. They haven't forgotten us. They're still here, always supporting, helping, encouraging and loving us. It is truly a priceless gift we have been given.